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The spectators erupt in wild applause, spontaneously waving American flags and throwing handfuls of ticker-tape confetti into the air. A siren sounds as the timer hits zero, and the MC prompts the judges to start tasting.

They make their way to your bench. Staring daggers at you, they awkwardly get on all fours and scoop the nature-encrusted food up with their utensils (you later learn that the judges were contractually obliged to eat every presented dish, no matter what condition it was presented in).

With no visible reaction, they make notes and move on. A few minutes later, they traipse back to their seats, confer, and pass a note to the MC.

"...and in third place, presenting wok-fried medley with dynamic garnish and bowl-seared flatbread, Competitor 3! Thanks to all three of our competitors. Please come and choose your prize."

Meh. You'll take it. There's two left to choose from.

* Take the generic cell phone in the giant, gaudy promotional box.