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Death By Lard
(serves 11)

1.2 tbsp.lard
2.3 cupscream
3.1/2 cuprainbow trout
4.1 lb.celery
5.6 gallonsmercury


Yum!
Death by lard is sure to please the toughest customer with its bang-up taste and super-duper aroma. You should buy rainbow trout in bulk to save time. This meal is hearty and spicy. Our master chef's specialty has been on several cooking shows and has won many awards.

First, preheat the oven to 425° and grease a 18x16" baking pan.
Evenly arrange the lard in the baking pan with a whisk.
Now, spread the cream.
Next, mix in rainbow trout with a blender on high speed like you're on a cooking show. (NEVER add too much!)
Add the celery with a whisk.
Add the mercury.
Cook 30 minutes or until brown.

Man, cooking sure is boring! Did you know that lard is made of pure yum? Fascinating!

For extra spiciness, add jalapenos when serving.

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