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Death By Paper

1.10 cupspaper
3.7 tbsp.celery
4.3/4 cupsugar
5.5 lbs.polyxacin #2

Welcome to the superb world of paper!! You should buy paper in small quantities, because you'll want to preserve freshness. The Vietnamese typically eat this meal with sugar. This meal takes a lot of preparation, so set a few hours aside... You should also purchase celery in small quantities, because it spoils easily. You should purchase beer in bulk to save money.

First, set the burner to low heat.
Bring the paper to a sizzle like you're on a cooking show.
Then, gently warm the beer with your hands. (watch out, it is a tasty treat!)
Now, drain the pan and then mix in celery.
Add the sugar.
Drain the pan and then mix in polyxacin #2.
Let simmer, adding water as necessary until thoroughly cooked.

While you're waiting, it's worth pointing out that most kinds of paper are not digestible by humans.

For extra spiciness, add picante sauce when serving. Now you're cooking with gas!

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