It's the other white meat! You should buy sand in bulk to save time. Pork-sand log is a real treat for vegetarians! This dish takes a lot of preparation, so set a few hours aside... You should buy cauliflower in small quantities, because you'll want to preserve freshness. You should also get pork in bulk to save time.
First, set the burner to high and oil the skillet with non-stick cooking spray.
Gently warm the pork.
Next, drain the pan and then mix in sand.
Drain the pan and then mix in cauliflower with your hands.
Add the water with your hands.
Drain the pan and then mix in lard like there's no tomorrow. (carefully!)
Sautee on medium heat until thoroughly cooked.
Man, cooking sure is boring! Did you know that sand is made from tiny crushed up mountains?
This dish is best served hot, with red wine.