"If I can't see it, it doesn't exist" has served you exceptionally well up until now. It has led to some exciting adventures, like having your last apartment condemned due to black mold (what leaking pipe?) and many, many visits from debt collector types claiming to represent all the companies that sent you free credit cards.

Hmm.

As you walk, you fire up your phone and request an online credit report. Wow. That is a lot of red zeroes. Like, a both-hands-and-a-foot-to-count-them lot. That can't be right, surely?

Is that what this is all about? Maybe if you explain it to the president, the arrest warrant will be withdrawn.

You go looking for the president.           (new)

You decide to try the phrase out once more and head out the door.           (new)